Last year was the most I’ve ever considered the concept of life and death, and as someone who is a chronic worrier, that’s saying a lot. Seeing just how quickly and unexpectedly life could be cut short had me questioning my faith, beliefs, choices… pretty much everything! At first I felt motivated. “Life is short so I might as well make the best of it!” but as time progressed with no end to Covid in sight, that motivation quickly turned into hopelessness. “I could be gone tomorrow, so…why even bother?”
I vacillated between wanting to make the most of life in ways that bring me happiness, like creating content, and feeling like there was no point because ultimately we can’t take any of this with us when we go. I’d be lying if I said 2020 didn’t shake my faith. By May, I stopped keeping up with Sunday service online. I stopped reading and studying my bible. I even stopped attending weekly zooms (originally an in person dinner, pre-covid) with my church family which was the easiest way for me to connect with God and fellowship. Ultimately, I turned my back on God entirely. What bothers me most is how quickly I did it!
Months passed without much more than my nightly prayers. It really wasn’t until December, when I had my last gut punch of the worst year of my life, that I was able to reflect and realize all God had brought me through. I literally survived having Covid-19! I was able to push through the first personal family death I’d ever experienced, put my the pieces back together after a bad heartbreak, heal from physical ailments, maintain financial stability despite significant reduction in work opportunities, and manage my mental health despite not being able to afford therapy anymore, AND I STILL CREATED SOME BOMB CONTENT! Whew, just writing that feels exhausting.
Upon reflecting on all I had survived through last year, it was my first instinct to take credit… but the truth is I didn’t do it alone. Not only did I have a great support system in my loved ones, more importantly I had God. I decided my resolution for 2021 would be to focus on my health in all aspects. Not only physical but emotional and spiritual health as well. I knew that would start with nurturing my faith and prioritizing my relationship with God again.
Ways to Strengthen Your Faith
- There are so many amazing churches streaming their Sunday Service right on Youtube for free! Some of my favorites are Transformation Church, , C3 NYC, Epiphany Brooklyn, Elevation Church and The Potter’s House.
- Transformation Church is also doing 21 days of fasting & prayer to kick off the new year. You can join along on their Youtube channel daily at 6pm CST, and their Bible plan on the Bible app. It’s a great way to refocus your energy throughout the week!
- Using a daily devotional to guide your prayers & time with God is a great place to start for anyone looking to grow their faith. This is the Daily Prayer Devotional I use, which focuses on prayers for anxiety and depression.
- Listening to worship music is my favorite way to spend time with God! It always puts me in a better mood instantly & I can listen anywhere, anytime. Here’s a Youtube playlist I curated with some of my fave songs!
- The dinner party I mentioned above is now a weekly zoom call and such a fun way to fellowship. We catchup, chit-chat and pray over each other. It’s such a refreshing way to connect with God! They’re hosted by C3 NYC and are broken up by neighborhood so you can find a group of people right by you.
Ultimately, what I’ve learned about growing your faith is that there isn’t necessarily any rhyme or reason to it. You don’t have to show up looking or acting a certain kind of way and you definitely don’t need to be perfect. Just connect with God in a way that is authentic to you!
How are you choosing to grow your Godfidence? Connect with me and let’s grow together!
Love,
G