Receiving compliments is a social skill that usually goes undiscussed but can really amp up your charisma, especially in work environments. Humility is always encouraged but I’m all about giving and receiving credit where it’s due so here are my tips on complimenting charismatically.
Don’t deflect compliments. It’s typical for people to feel so uncomfortable receiving a compliment that they just want the attention off of them any way possible. Really, this just takes away from the accolades you deserve. Here’s how to properly acknowledge and accept any compliment: “You are so kind/thoughtful, I really appreciate you noticing that. It means a lot.”
Don’t self-bash. I’ve learned through research that people with lower self-esteem will compliment you and self-bash in the same sentence, seeking a reply that makes them feel better. Here’s an example that recently happened to me. A woman about 5ft tall approached me and said “Wow! You’re so tall. It must be nice being so tall, I hate being short. I wish I was your height I wouldn’t have to wear heels everyday.” The average response would’ve been something like “Being tall isn’t so great because of (insert reason)” but the truth is, I love my height! When you’ve worked hard to build confidence you shouldn’t self-bash to coddle anyone’s insecurities. Especially a strangers. So I smiled politely and said thank you. This shows empathy & understanding (smile) yet confidence (firm thank you). Practice this when giving and receiving compliments.
Don’t fidget with the compliment area. Whether it’s your hair, smile, or your latest presentation at work, the person complimented it for a reason. It looks great, you did a wonderful job and there’s no need to adjust.
Always give one in return but be genuine. Start by accepting the compliment, then respond. Appearance based compliments are cool but the best compliments aren’t surface level. If you truly can’t think of anything to say here are some ideas…
- How well they handled a poor situation
- The kindness they extended to you or someone else
- A skill or talent they’ve worked hard on
- A presentation, idea or solution to a problem
- Their unique perspective on something
- Their ability to stay balanced, focused, organized etc..
Implement these tips at your next social gathering and I promise you’ll feel more confident and develop deeper connections with others! If you try any of these let me know how it goes in the comments down below.