November 22, 2017
My stomach sounds like it’s talking to me as I roll over in bed. I should get up and make breakfast… except it isn’t morning, it’s 3:41pm and I haven’t moved. The only force stronger than my stomach growls is my urge to stay in bed. I’m aware that I’m hungry, but the urge to eat just isn’t there. I’m completely aware of the laundry that needs to be done, and the blog post that needs to be written. I want to get out of bed so bad but it’s like… I’m stuck. Not physically, but mentally.
This is a somewhat normal day for me in the winter months as my “regular” depression snowballs into the monster known as seasonal depression. For those who don’t know, depression is a neurological disorder which negatively affects how one views themselves and their circumstances. Depression is not a choice nor can you “get over it”. You can be rich, beautiful, loved by all and still be depressed. Why? Because depression is not a choice or avoidable. There’s no cure, or quick fix.
Seasonal depression occurs when depression is worsened due to the season. Lack of vitamin D (sun), being alone for the holidays or reminiscing about a childhood that wasn’t so great are a few examples why. Seasonal depression affects a lot of us, but the worst part is that most people don’t even realize it! They chalk it up to winter blues and brush it under the rug just to deal with it again the following year.
November 29, 2017
I lost my momentum…
December 4, 2017
I was so productive yesterday! I’m very proud of myself, but today I can’t keep up the momentum. You know what I’ve learned? That’s okay. When you have depression, no two days are alike. Some days you’ll win, hell some days you’ll kick depression’s a**! But some days it’ll beat yours. That. is. okay. I can’t count the amount of times people have called me a “princess” or “lazy” because of my depression. People assume I have a poor work ethic, or I simply don’t care but that’s not the case. Acknowledge that if you have a loved one with depression you might have done this to them perhaps subconsciously, and it hurts. It sucks being judged for something that I can’t control, it sucks knowing how much more productive I could be if I didn’t have to deal with depression… how much further in my career I’d be… but it just motivates me more to overcome this obstacle and help others do the same!
April 12, 2018
It took me so long to get to this point of not only understanding my depression but also being this comfortable with myself to be open and honest about it. I have SO much to share about this battle that I know many of you can relate to so please fell free to ask questions! Can you relate to this post? Leave a comment below & let’s start a discussion. (This is a safe space, any negative comments will be deleted immediately).
I can’t wait to share more with you all, hear your stories & create a community within which we can support one another. Thank you for your support, I love you all!